I have been "out" as transgender to myself and to many of my friends for somewhere between three and five years (depending greatly on how you decide what "out" and "transgender" mean) although I have been aware, off and on, that something was very different about the way I perceived myself and others compared to what is generally accepted to be normal since I was in elementary school. I have gone through times when it was fairly simple for me to put up a facade of being comfortable as a female. After all, I was interested in boys and liked wearing dresses (although I always thought they felt like costumes), so nobody had any reason to suspect that they might be misjudging the reality of the situation. Many times, I thought it would be easier to let people believe that I was just an incredibly odd woman. But then, there have been times when I have despised the fact that people don't understand why it can ruin my day to be called "young miss", or "sweetie", or to be told that my haircut "could be fixed if I grew out my tendrils, but the squared-off style makes me look too masculine." Most of the time, I worry that I will have to explain to prospective lovers that if they are interested in men, I might not have enough penis for them (although I do have a "phantom penis"), and if they are interested in women, they might not care for my personality. And so, I generally date bisexual people and genderqueer people, and this tends to work out because I am bisexual, and my gender is Pretty Damn Queer.
I am writing this blog, partially as a place for me to vent about my own thoughts, partially as a resource for other transgender people, allies, and potential allies, and partially as a way of gaining visibility for some of the variations in trans experience. That said, welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay, and enjoy learning a bit with me.
Cheers,
Dominic
